*chokes on dust*

[liadethornegge]

So, like I said, I forgot about this blog since there is not real incentive to keep it active and up to date.
My scrolls are all on my geocities page, and there's noone else here whose blog I go to every day to read.

Well, the summer is approaching with Seven-Mile-Strides and I'm not sure I'll be ready for it when it comes. I have to set myself up with something to do in the fall - my program is officially done with making me go courses, and I have to rely on myself to find a thesis project.

I'm not good at relying on myself. I'm extremely bad at it and I will win championship procrastination prizes for it. M knows about it, he knows what I'm like, and he's trying to kick my ass into shape. I am very grateful. But not 100% sure it's working. I need reprogramming, a new Mantra:
I can do it. I am not afraid. I can do it. I am not afraid. I can do it. I am not afraid.

Comments

reprogram?

[crzyafterall.livejournal.com]

How do you re-program a human? Java (well coffee maybe, bleh), oracle?, hey I know machine language, shakes head, no, that won't work. Hmm, M kicking butt, laughs, ok. Now I have seen it all (and love it)
hugs, see ya

Re: reprogram?

[liadethornegge.livejournal.com]

How to reprogram. Well, not sure. If I knew I would not be having this problem.

I can do things I'm normally afraid to do when I am either given no time to think about it. Or am over-tired and can't work up the engery to think about it.

Like skydiving. Like one week alone in Turkey at age 18. Like a week-long trip to Manchester with three days notice. Like getting a replacement plane ticket and thinking fuck you to people in line behind me after sitting on a plane for eighteen hours already.

And I hate looking like a fool. Basically, this is the biggest fear I have and the greatest hinderance for me: I might end up looking like an idiot.

Re: reprogram?

[crzyafterall.livejournal.com]

hon, you are the smartest, brightest and very intelligent, you are tired and it has been a long year. Take a short break, talk it over with M and it will come to you. Relax, smile and laugh a little. It has a wonderous effect on your life :-).
hugs
~n~